Wondering

I hope my old friends are okay.  I don't like the way they speak to me without speaking to me.

I hope I don't lose my temper.  Should I have stopped playing, even?  Maybe, I should have practiced 1 thing at a time.

Sorry if what I said prior was harsh..

Yay!

O boy, Ellen, I get to submit to a nice looking casting agency to get in Finding Dory!

Nite?

hey.

Would you consider me a selfish person ?

Ugh!

I just have so much cleaning to do.  I need to redo my room.  I have 0 ideas except to like put things away somewhere else, need a coat hanger but would rather get that outfit.

Problema

Why are people acting like oh I'm gonna h*** you because you have some problem you don't know and I'm not telling!

Think of all..

..the time I waste with the little voices people put in my room when I'm alone.

Twitter

So, what?

You chose, you lose

Problema

I was considering I was a problem and that I shouldn't watch the show, but I mean if I watch the show and then get attacked by an old nuisance then what?  I do NOT want to be linked to that girl who won't answer now in time.

I have control

over my life.  I vent, I take care of myself.  Just thinking, like maybe I'm on Twitter.

O my God, though!  WTF was that!  I know you don't wanna be the 1 to hear me play.

So..

I guess some people I like make a problem with what I do.  They attack me.  They think I'm shit.  I was kinda mad at the piano, no one to comfort me, no one to shit with..  So, I got off and just went to ask my dad about room on the computer, and then I knew he was plotting to me about getting his instead of getting mine fixed.  What if I had a sign I had to read every day about this?  I couldn't get the idea of my old music teachers off.  While I was playing.  I didn't really make a scene, but some words somehow formulated and I had to try to forget it and not have it materialize.  It was like they have something in my brain or because I know I'm being watched.  It just happens..  Something happened..  Then, I was just kinda upfront with my dad about being teased about music and "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and thinking of an old friend I had hoped became a big fan of Ellen DeGeneres..  Thing is, I just think like I know my other friend would like her too but for other reasons.  I dunno what reason you're supposed to have, but maybe they wish they did gymnastics or something and looked more like me, I thinks.

Wondering

It seems that people somehow had to do some situation or hopefully not..  I did wonder why my friend didn't watch Ellen DeGeneres, probably has a life.  She might watch TV still.  What does that have to do with me?  I already wanted to talk to her.  She won't.  I have no friends who'll talk to me.  They like stare at me, I feel.  What, what does that have to do with me, the way you few liked Pirates of the Caribbean and Johnny Depp.

Wow

Some people really went against the genes from my parents.

Nasty

So, people want my old friend to take my place with Ellen DeGeneres.. why?  No, I'm me.  I watch the show, I'm more like her than her.  She's overly developed in an unnecessary way.  I got really mad..  I was playing piano and I thought my old music teachers were in my life though they did not respond to me, just accepted my friend request on Facebook and the older 1 sent me a Linked In invite.

Now, my dad is giving me his old computer and was talking like his oldest sister.  I ran outta room, and he's not reading how to back up stuff, can't save it to a disk.  I'm running outta room like when I record.  He's like he didn't get my e-mail I sent.  I did whatever he said.  I have no clue where the manual is, now.

What was the thing with this shitty message?  I don't give a fuck @ a person who doesn't answer and never will because of something I did.  What the fuck is this.  :[  I'm tired of getting shit from people..

I feel people are clinging to me.  I don't cling to anyone.  That must be something someone else did.  I need to learn from others.  What, did you just get read by your genes from your parents!

Apprehensive

I feel surrounded by "negative energy."

Outfit I'd Like

$20 http://www.sears.com/us-polo-assn-junior-s-kate-skinny-jeans/p-002VA57266012P?prdNo=5
$15 http://www.sears.com/bongo-junior-s-t-shirt-necklace-striped/p-002VA57829012P?prdNo=7
$13 http://www.sears.com/bongo-junior-s-cardigan-sweater-striped/p-002VA56504812P?prdNo=15
$35 http://www.sears.com/rebel-by-zigi-women-s-short-boot-alex-black/p-054VA55835412P?selectedFilters=Style|Fashion%20boots\&prdNo=5

$83

New Photo

New Photo of Me

Una Pregunta

Has Nell Burton descended upon me - or was it the way I put her name for others to see - to be my competition and pretend rival?

What do you think??

What do you think of how Ellen thinks like for instance me I'm mentally ill and "actually" decides to do something she wouldn't do, like she just changed.  Because I think she is only 1/2 New Orleanian, by family|blood.  Like, you'd think she wouldn't think of like being disappointed, in a way, with how she is.

Hm..

I remember when they ask the class to write little notes to each other.  I like that kinda stuff.  Mine's always been good.

So, the problem is..

..I was like howcome you look like you just got losened up, you know, though?  She doesn't really want me to talk @ her.

Something Important

My mom is sensitive because she is Chinese.  There are some things she doesn't seem to have done to be an American.

What happened was I was at a meeting, and I had just hurt a girl a little by how I was acting, to see what would happen when she wasn't looking then looked, through a window from downstairs.  It might have been set up.  I went to the meeting.  We had been talking @ something else, like an issue or "problem."  That's what made her seem involved, and people were testing her lazily just to jest with me-

I think..

I feel people think they are in the action of taking me away from a peaceful situation with my mom.

Question

Why do people keep trying to see me as a flawed twin of my dad but like him?  My race.

Boyfriend

I dunno, that's just ***.  C*****s.

Poofs Up Hair .. "dim all the lights"

Does anyone else have to m*********?  I'm so glad when it's over.  I wonder if I lived alone I'd do it more or less.  After I was done, I felt like I'd just been in the action.  My opinion, I do not like it.  I mean, I'd say yea it feels good but seems a bit bad with the thoughts that do it.  I was hoping that it would stop.  I mean, maybe like I am wondering if my friends do it.  Working @ a daycare, I don't wanna make a kid do it, too.  I imagined this stuff but don't want it to happen.  I do wonder if anyone else does.  I can do it myself.  :)  That's what I'm doing now.

Tired But Wondering

People are interested in me.  I dunno, got online.  My life has interesting stuff happen to it.  It's hard to recollect, but it must have stuck with me.

I was also wondering @ my forum.  I can get people from IMDb to post there.  I wanted to make it comfortable for like relatives and people with the same interests.

Another thing I am trying to do now is occupy myself more.  I might work @ a daycare part time, trying to audition for things.  I would like college and am wondering what's good.  I am wanting a TV show.

So..

Like to have fun, gonna get a Florida Disney pass in October when it cools down.  No one to go with.  That's fine, but I can talk online @ it.  I really wanna record stuff and put it on YouTube.  That was a big reason I wanted to go so much, but it's fun without the record, as well, gonna go alone I think.

I see cute girls @ Orlando and wonder if they look up to me.  Guess they do.

I have to call my Gramma.  I'm a bit apprehensive, tired at the moment.

I'm definitely very into "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and hope to click with other fans.  Would be fun to go over to L.A.  I'm trying to get in Finding Dory, actually, lots of people might be, though I don't see them all online.  I actually planned and was writing in my journal @ Red Carpet.  =)

So..

I thought I cleaned lots of my room, but it looks kinda torn apart.  My life is pretty much with that as part of my background.

I dunno @ the people watching me, but it does raise awkwardness.  I mean, I think people are watching me, but they don't make me feel good, anymore.  That was years ago.  I thought the world wasn't real.  I mean, I get real happy when I'm not "the 1."  So..  I mean, I fend for myself.

Well..

Trying to improve stuff, have good relationships, the ones I have at least, things like that, make people not feel like they need to do certain things for me, though @ the people in Orlando I think they're always seeping into others.  People do as they will.  Just gotta help myself.

...

Ex er cise

Chest & Abs - 6 minutes

My neck sure got a workout.  I'm losing the length of my double chin.

Twitter

Thinking @ Florida

Central Florida's good fun, but it's been the roughest.  I used to touch my mom in SE FL, though.

Something Funny

You think maybe attractive people are bad, but you'll notice I'm not agreeable for some reason when you say I'm not attractive enough then..

Tumblr

Tumblr

Mad

I don't wanna follow your false view like you know Ellen DeGeneres.

Something

Here's Taylor Swift|Pink|Jackie Evancho|Amanda Seyfried: "WHYY does that make you upset!.."

Are they hoping the people who moved to Florida are the tacky 1s?  Like we don't have a culture?  Like we're "not allowed

Food for Thought

I guess some people don't think touching is as big a deal.

Problema

I was all jittery in bed and didn't feel like getting up and typing.

I dunno.

I am a normal person.

Well

He used to touch me.

Well, though..

I didn't really touch him until my life got bad..

Problema

I'm trying to sleep and all I'm getting is shuffling the music to represent my dad whom I do not touch.  I touch other people.  All anyone will give a fuck @ tomorrow is me thinking of slicing a k**** in my wall and it turning into you know..  I just heard a noise.  What prestige do you hold in caring @ what I think?

Appropriate or Not

I think my oldest aunt started it, but like she seems to signal when something is appropriate, like me dancing to an Italian song if I watch Ellen DeGeneres, for example.  What's wrong with Italian?  She has an Italian partner.

Inconvenience

Before I took the classes from Ginny, I felt my ankles forming more like roots.  I even saw something like that in the movie Saturday.  I almost broke it seeing Mary Poppins as a musical.  It was a theater class.  She was acting stuck up and snobby thinking she was Ellen DeGeneres.  I'm not sure I had to experience that.  She did stop the class activities of sliding across the floor and it became uninteresting, I was kicked out and put back on psychiatric medicine by my mom.

So..

You can just say you were listening to someone else and not call me a nigger.

What do you think?

Ellen looks older now, but she resembles not just how she was before I bet.

Also

If I sound cool can't be bad because of my race.  If she wants to get rid of me, then find someone to talk to, someone else..  Like, when I act cool, people act like I shouldn't.  What does that mean!?

Well

Why did Ellen DeGeneres seem offended like she knew like what kind of dress people liked already?

Also, did you figure out why she likes dresses for fancy things made of cloth?

Hm..

I wish Audrey Hepburn were alive.  :|  What about Orla Karron Fallon, who's younger?  She's younger, an I rish ha .. harpist n singer.. very attractive, just had a son named Freddie.  Karron is French.

So..

Say, Ellen DeGeneres didn't like me, in a way, but I was still interesting to her.  Who do you think she would like?

This is ridiculous.

I feel my posts aren't agreeable, like my last 1.  I don't need to balance it with a random thing, "what the fu -ck?"  I mean I really liked it in time to when people don't.  It's not some act.

Nice

Now, it's Audrey Hepburn.  "Moon River."  How nice.  I like that stuff.

So

I used to fall asleep right away, too tired for a story.

I thought lots of weird things.

I'm listening to Anne Hathaway.  Someone on Twitter mentioned her.  My hand, I felt was frozen to not change like I have it change, my right hand.  That's perfectly ridiculous, it's my life.  Maybe she is just a problem, meaning she has too many.  Most people don't want dark hair and pale skin.

I got another sarcastic idea from an Ellen DeGeneres con-artist.  Shouldn't say it, but I thought I actually heard it.  Why?

What's this I'm not from Florida idea?  Plus, NYC is incredibly stuck up.  I'm not rooted in the north.  That's just telling me I'm a lunatic, and idiot.  I'm sitting here thinking with my glasses, sorry @ my life.  Anne Hathaway doesn't sing that powerfully.  She's not a singer.  She seems to be getting it out.  I wonder how she knows of this musical so much.  She thinks she's a singer like me, but she's not.

Problema

I was going to bed and got another message-

More

14 Different Songs by different people

More

Why am I still getting negative messages from my dad?

Also, I got the idea Ellen with others would be able to just like in what you'd call a show off way but not being like mean @ that term though it seems like it in this crowd .. that I was walking around with confidence tonight, like I was someone.  Maybe not, that sounds stupid, too.  Why are people onto me for shit like that?  LOL?

I'm concerned @ the self-centeredness of my dad's like attacking me like he used to seem to threaten, like he'd follow me and make sure to make me feel bad.  If I told my therapist, then what?  You know?  Like, I know my mom did that.  Like, do little things to annoy me.  I don't want them that close to me.  I don't mean necessarily never, but this is sappy and sucks.  It's not how I am.  I'm not a pig on the floor.

Also

Wasn't our "thing" supposedly you think doing something bad meant you didn't mean it but wanted to get it out?

What to Do

I'm listening to my 3 Hayley Westenra songs, and people I probably wouldn't talk to are watching me in my room.  My computer didn't shut off after an hour, and I didn't wanna get up.  She actually just released a lullaby CD.  I ran outta money, might have to listen to Charlotte Church?  Don't really wanna do that in my sleep, nothing wrong but that she's so mainstream.  No more money..

I'm very annoyed at being followed weirdly by everyone, my dad, my mom, who I don't know if she knows she's dong it.  Isn't this because of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp?  So what, I didn't blare out someone was the N word.  They acted like it was part of the experiment, and I mean it's just a word that defines something, the only racial word used casually, don't really use it on my own.  :|

You can't sit here and tell me I can't do something when you're also the 1 who caused it.

Now, they're bargaining, too.  I don't wanna think @ that stuff.

Well

Good Night.

I so admire..

..Ellen DeGeneres for making things seem okay in the world and inspiring me to get a leather coat if I have a TV show